Leadership

Research on leadership claims that it is one of the least understood abstract concepts in the world among the ones that are most revered by people. We all understand that friendship, beauty, love, affection, and many other abstract concepts have multiple dimensions. Yet, we usually perceive leadership in a single area of our life. For some people, it may be the leadership of the community; for others, it may be related to business; while some would think that they just need to be the leaders of their own selves. None of them is wrong because leadership can include any of these ideas. But it is more important to remember that leadership is much more than just 1 of these dimensions. You need to reflect your leadership in all areas of your life. You need to be an everyday leader.

The idea of everyday leadership has gained a lot of interest in the past few years, but people are still hazy on what it exactly means. So instead of talking about it in abstract terms, let’s consider an example of a made-up everyday leader called Areeb (not to be confused with the real Areeb). He is a 26-year-old married guy who is a teacher for life skills and a student of marketing.

Let’s walk through a single day of Areeb’s life.

It’s 7:00 am, and the alarm rings. Areeb wakes up. He freshens up and goes to the kitchen to cook breakfast. He makes a large batch of pancakes and takes them to the bedroom. He wakes up his wife to a delicious breakfast in bed who had been up late in the night doing her office work. She is delighted for this treat and feels proud as he appreciates her work that it will improve the lives of many people.

Lesson 1: Look around your vicinity. Be an everyday leader for those who are the closest to you. Find ways to provide them happiness, comfort, and inspiration in their daily lives.

Now it’s time to go to school. Areeb walks out of his house, says hi to a neighborhood couple walking their dog, and goes to the bus stop to catch his bus. As he sits down on the bench, he sees an old lady coming there. He stands up and offers her the seat. She gets angry and tells him that she is as capable of standing in the cold as he is. He immediately apologizes and sits down. She sees that he did not mean to offend her and thank him for understanding her reaction. They start chatting about the weather. As the bus draws to a halt in front of Areeb, he feels happy about that encounter even though it didn’t have a good start.

Lesson 2: You won’t always be right. If you want to make someone happy, don’t dictate their happiness. Let them live on their terms. If you have a different belief than someone else, think about the end goal: What do you want to achieve? Whom do you want to benefit? Would someone get hurt from either belief?

The bus reaches the school, and Areeb looks around for his friend, Joseph. He sees Joseph sitting very silently in the cafeteria, looking intently at his phone. He seems a bit sad. Areeb walks over and asks Joseph what’s bothering him. He shares the news that racist incidents are rising all through the country, there is so much hate in people for each other, and he can’t do anything to make them see sense.

Areeb. “What makes you think you can’t do anything about it?”

Joseph. “Well, I’m not like those really good speakers who can convince others with just their words; I’m just a web designer.”

Areeb. “Well, you don’t really need to talk to people if you are not comfortable. Maybe you can use your web designing skills to create a platform for really good speakers. So you’ll provide them with a digital megaphone so their voice can reach many different people.”

Happiness sparkles inside Joseph’s eyes, and it trickles down to a broad smile. He gets excited that he can contribute so much to this idea while fulfilling his interests and skills. He understands how he can provide service to other people without changing as a person.

Lesson 3: Inspire people, but don’t change people to think and live as you want. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Maybe something that’s easy for you, is very difficult for them. Let them understand how their skills can solve their problems.

Now it’s time to go to the class. Areeb and Joseph make their way to the class, where he learns a lot about marketing sustainability. There is a healthy discussion in the class, but the teacher notices that Areeb is not sharing any opinions. After the class, she calls Areeb and asks if everything is okay. Areeb assures her that everything is perfect. He just didn’t share any opinions because he is not knowledgeable about the subject. So instead, he preferred to listen to those who had knowledge about it.

Lesson 4: Listen to everyone’s opinions, especially those that are different from yours. Listening is the key to gaining knowledge and reaching a solution that could work for everyone.

Flash forward to the evening. Areeb prepares to teach today’s life skills class. As the clock strikes 6 pm, two kids, Amr and Steve, join the class “How to handle difficult conversations“. It is a difficult topic for Amr, while Steve is comfortable sharing his problems and opinions. Areeb starts talking to them about his own experiences and relates how he used to have difficulty in sensitive topics. He tells them that it’s okay to sometimes stay in the comfort zone and take change slowly.

Areeb. “Remember the story of the rabbit and the tortoise?”

Amr. “Yes! The slow and steady won the race!”

Steve. “But then does it mean that the fast runners always lose?”

Areeb. “No, actually, it means that you need to know your limitations. Sometimes, we run too fast and lose too much energy that we can’t cross the finish line. The rabbit could have easily won if it had just understood how fast it ‘should’ run instead of how fast he ‘can’ run.

Amr and Steve. “Oooooooohhhhhhh”

Amr’s face lights up as he realizes that he does not need to constantly push himself. While Steve understands that it’s his personality to continually try new things. If he does one thing for too long, he might get bored. What’s more important in both cases is that they take time to reflect on their selves to understand what they “should” do instead of what they “can” do.

Lesson 5: Don’t rush change. The world will try to sell you the idea of constant effort to achieve more and more, but that is designed to sell you things you might not need. Spend energy where you should, and relax where your should. Otherwise, you’ll get exhausted very near to the finish line.

Once the class is over, Areeb and his wife have dinner. While eating, they talk about their day, discuss random topics, and share laughs. After dinner and cleaning up, they watch their favorite series on Netflix. It gives them a good break from their hectic routine. A little closer to 9 pm, Areeb heads out and takes a short stroll on the street to feel the cold breeze, see the city lights, and notice the voices in the distance gradually quiet down.

Lesson 6: Take care of yourself. Leadership begins with our own self. Often when thinking about other people, we forget self-care. But if you are not physically or mentally healthy, you can not really help others too. Do what makes you happy. Just take care that it doesn’t hurt others.

He comes back home and thinks about his day. He becomes happy at the idea that he was a good everyday leader today. He goes to bed, closes his eyes, but then immediately jumps awake.

Areeb. “Wait… I can do one last thing today! I’ll share my experience with others so they can benefit from it.”

He opens his laptop, smiles mischievously, and starts writing about a made-up everyday leader called Areeb.

Lesson 7: Value yourself. You have the strengths, experiences, skills, knowledge, and many other talents that you can share with others. But it all begins with you understanding their worth. Appreciate your ideas and your deeds so you can inspire others around you.

Think about your day today. Did you make someone happy or inspired? Were you an everyday leader for yourself or someone else?

Share your leadership lessons with me in the comments, on social media, or anywhere you can reach me. I would love to hear them and share them with the world.

Use #thelostfootsteps so I can find your voice.